I'll do anything for food...

Kent to Kai, via AIM: If I'm not getting free pizza out of it, I don't need sketchy guys checking me out.

there was tequila involved, too

Elaine, Erica's Roommate: What school are you at, again?
Lola: Smith.
Erica, Lola's BFF since 7th grade: *fondly* My little preppy lesbian.

It's not alcoholism if you're not drinking alone

Kent: Yeah, I have class tomorrow *pours a shot.*

The Way to the Heart...

Kai: "Chocolate is the food of love, and the greatest comfort after human-to-human contact."
Crunch: "And mac 'n cheese."

French Homework

Shari-Marie: Why are teeth feminine? Oh right, because vaginas have teeth.

Burn!

Kai: I'll have sex with you if you write my paper.

Kent: Not worth it.

Kai: Owww.

Kent: What?

Kai: The hair on my stomach is poking through my shirt...and I didn't realize that's what it was until I pulled it out.