Marissa: I found my dream job! Guess where it is?
Crystal: Starbucks?
Marissa: No...

Kent: I was a fat black baby

Kent: Actually, I was kind of Asian, too.

Kent: If he has time to sit around and draw comics and post them on LiveJournal then he does NOT have a girlfriend.

(talking about Bloody Marys)

Riss: It tastes kind of like Spaghetti-os.

Kent: I don't want to drink alcoholic Spaghetti-os.

Analogy Fail

Riss: How would you feel if Kent and I were getting stitches added to us and you were getting knit across?

Kent: I don't think that analogy followed through.

Auntie Em, Auntie Em...

(wind roars outside the window of Fussers)

Kent: (whispering across the room to CatMatt) "The world is ending!"
Peace: (speaking normally) "The world isn't ending. I've got babies to make, I don't have time for the world to end."

Thank you, Peace

(sarcastically talking about transitioning being the "easy way out")

Kai: "Yeah, I'm really looking forward to that male-pattern baldness. I really wanna be able to put sunscreen on my head."
Peace: "Like bird poop!"

-something witty-

(discussing the relationship of two housemates)

Kai: "That's...vomit-worthy. Not like gushy, cute vomit. Like food poisoning vomit."

(after going up to the fourth floor)
Tanner: I think Lamont might be closer.

Day 2 of the semester...and already doing work at midnight

Kai: "Shit! I still need to think of three social movements I want to research!"
Lola: "Pet rocks."
Kai: "That wasn't really a social movement so much as a pop culture trend."
Lola: "Sure it was. It was a movement against live pets."

Kai: Hey Lola, my sweater is made out of your bunny!

Lola: YES!!

And so it begins...

(via AIM)

Marissa: "OMG I am so close to telling them to shut the fuck up."
Marissa: "Maybe in not so many words."
Kai: "Like what? ONE less?"
Marissa: "Yeah."

To PMS or not to PMS....please say no.

Kai: "You're PMSing."
Kent: "I am NOT!!"
Kai: "You told me the other day you were PMSing!?"
Kent: "No I didn't!!" (pause) "I did? WHAT DAY IS IT?!"

Who needs grammar anyway?

(discussing the sudden increased use of "zeeky" on Smith campus)

Kent: "Maybe it's a cumulative adjective they use for everything?"
CatMatt: "What's an adjective?"

Mmm Play-Doh

Kai: You smell like Play-Doh. Were you eating Play-Doh?

Kent: I have Play-Doh in my room...

Kai: Were you eating it??

Kent: No!

Boobs

(My boobs have been hurting. Caitlin says it means they're growing. Hah.)

Kent: I'm looking up why boobs hurt. *Types "boobs" into Google* Ahhhh!! Porn!!

Lindsey: Did you type in just "boobs?"

Kent: Yes!

Lindsey: You never type in just "boobs!"

Hipsters

Cat Matt: Should I become a hipster?

Kent: No.

Cat Matt: Why not?

Kent: It's expensive.

Tanner: I'm quiet sometimes.

Chera: When you sleep.

(Lindsey and Caitlin were talking about smoking, and Marta jumped into the conversation and asked what they were talking about. I, being me, said something random.)

Kent: She was smoking with her vag.

Marta: Wait, really?

Kent: (cracking up) Marta...your vag can't breathe in...

Discussing Kent & Kai Switching Rooms With Cat Matt

Kai: So that we don't have to sleep on this bed anymore and we can have a bigger one.

Kent: So that I can move out of my vag-pot room.

Wal-Mart Adventures

Lola: Elizabeth!

Kent: What?

Lola: Not you, the movie. I don't call you Elizabeth, I call you Kent.

Kent: Oh right, I just shouldn't respond.

Live from Washington...

(watching the Inauguration of Barack Obama)

Kai: "How the hell do you get camera angles like that?!"
Kent: (not missing a beat) "Ninjas."

Kai: Would you mind if our seats were kind of high?

Riss: Not at all... as long as I can run down and show Ellsbury my boobies!

Movie Madness

(via AIM)

Me: "Rated R for 'graphic brutal horror violence and grisly images throughout, some strong sexuality, graphic nudity'...so basically is rated R for sex, violence, and gore."

Crystal: "Perfect."

Yummy

(while watching A Double Shot at Love and discussing nasty foods contestants are forced to eat)

Blue: Mmm, buffalo penis...

(On my very very Christian friend who believes that girls should not stick things up *there*)

Kai: Tell him to remove the Bible from his ass so his boyfriend will have better access.

Lola and Rissa - 0, Hangover - 1

Lola (via text): Mission aborted. Lola and Marissa fail. Hangover win. We'll come another time!

(after a slightly drunken and misguided night.)
Lola: I had my beer goggles on. And my Smith goggles.
Rissa: Beer goggles plus Smith goggles equals two blind girls.

The New Dr. Phil

Lola on Twitter: 

"Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate." - Jack Sparrow could write a self-help book. I'd read it.