(Cat Matt and I were in Wal-Mart looking at journals. I handed her a small one that I thought was nice.)

Cat Matt: *offended voice* I have more thoughts than that!

It's gonna be a real party...

(on AIM)
Kai: "We're going to hell, just so you know."
Rissa: "Yeah, well we're having fun on the way there."
Kai: "True story."
Rissa: "so Satan can put on a pot of coffee cuz I'm gonna get the party started."

(talking about cover letters)

Cat Matt: I feel like a baby lamb.

Cat Matt: .. I just want to live in a fucking field.

Camatt: I want to be a gay man

Kai: They can do that now you know.

Back to Late Late Nights

(on AIM)
Rissa: "OK I think I'm going to call it a night."
Kai: "Okie doke. Have fun in dreamland. Hopefully I'll see you there before 2:30AM. That sounds creepy. Forget I said that."
Rissa: "OK. Goodnight."

Kai: You can do it better than I can.
Crystal: That's what she-- oh wait. No, she wouldn't say that.

(Cat Matt and I were discussing how I don't believe in God, and she asked if I would pray to God if I was going to die.)

Kent: I prayed to God once when I had cramps...

Oh the conversations we have in Fussers...

Cat Matt decided to name our boobs and vags. Here is the list.

Cat Matt: Vag - Claudia. Boobs - Anastasia and Zoe.

Kent: Vag - Penelope. Boobs - Ariel and Sebastian.

Tanner: Vag - Daphne. Boobs - Penelope and Jasmine.

Lola: Vag - Juliet. Boobs - Agnes and Dorothy.

what a great idea

Lola: I really just want to knit all day.
Chera: Do it on your day off.
Lola: I get a day off?
Chera: You should! God did.

Crystal on her birthday: I feel like I'm going to take off my shirt or something

God forbid..

Lola: This is special! it only happens ONCE a year!

Kent: That's what she said!!

Oscars are SOOOOO Emotional...

(watching an acceptance speech)
CatMatt: "OMG. I'm crying."
Kent: "Why are you crying?"
CatMatt: "Shut up! I'm on my period."

You sure about that?

Lola: Yeah, because Wednesday is Good Friday.

Tanner: According to my diagnostic, I can get into the med school that's in the middle of North Dakota. I don't think I want to go to that one.

it's five o'clock somewhere...

"It's a Thursday night."
"Uh, that doesn't make a difference."
"It's 5:00."
"Yeah.. that's got nothing to do with it either."
"You're under 21."
"Again, nothing to do with it."

Great Things Happen at Dinner...

Marissa: (talking about the basis of Judaism) The more you do, the holier you are.

Kent: That's what she said!

-------------------------------------------------

Cat Matt: My finger is green.

Kent: Did you finger a sick Smurf?

Cat Matt: No, a leprechaun.

and another guest quote

on whether or not to apply to internships in DC...
Lola: The Sox play the Nationals June 23-26!
... Okay, now I am making life decisions based on being able to see the Sox play at face value. I think I need help.
Amy: You're beyond help.
Amy: Remember. God's most pathetic creature.

Terry is looking for the wireless signal:

Terry: Just find it! Ohhh yesss.

Riss: That's what she said!!!!

Donkey: Aren't you friends with Crystal too?

Terry: No, Crystal's not on Twitter.

Terry to Marissa as she is digging through the garbage: Wow, you're really digging in down there.

Marissa still in the trash: That's what she said.

(sips Marissa's cup)
Kai: "It tastes like watered down grape juice."
Kent: "It DOES taste like grape juice. Tastes like Jew."

(as Helena is un-buttoning Dylan's shirt on the L-Word)

Kent: Oh snap! Oh snap Oh snap!

Lola: Oh UNsnap!

(on Twitter)

Tanner: AHHH, WHAT HAPPENED TO MY VERBAL REASONING SCORE?!?!

Lola: you talked too much & used up all of your words.

Tanner: Marissa's either being really productive or really non-productive.
Marissa: I'm googling my name.
Tanner: Non productive.

I speak good...

Kai: *stumbles over a sentence* English is my bad language.

Kent: Then what's your good language?

Kai: Ebonics?

So strange...

(about Kai & Kent's big bed)
MaryCeline: "Aww! It's a love nest!"

Hmm...

Will (to Sigma): "Sit up straight so I can read under your boobs."

Does she do Group Work?

(on AIM)
Rissa: "and then she said 'conquerization.' And I was like 'OMG you're stupid.'"

She's still saying it...

(watching Top Chef)
Kai: "Thicker is always better than thinner."
Crystal: "That's what she said."

Said the Jewish girl...

Rissa: (on the phone with mom) "No, I want my money back."
Kent: "Jew."

Rissa: Ryan and I are going bowling. which is going to be hilarious because my hands are too small for the balls.
Lola: That's what she said.
Rissa: I couldn't think of any way of phrasing it that wouldn't elicit that response.
Lola: There wasn't.

Marissa to Lola: Bitch. I mean, I love you.

Silent Treatment

Crystal: Kent, if you're speaking to Cat Matt could you please tell her that her hair looks nice today?

Kent: *laughing* Crystal, I told you we were speaking to her again!

Crystal: Oh, we are?

Kent: Yeah, I told you at lunch.

Crystal: Oh, okay. Cat Matt, your hair looks nice today.

another guest quote

Lola: You still take Flintstone's vitamins?
Lola's Brother: Yeah...
Lola: Don't you know that your vitamin needs have changed since you were five?
Lola's Brother: But it's the brand I trust.

Oh Fussers...

Cat Matt: Let's like, plan a revolution.

Kent: I have to do my homework.

Rissa: Mmm I want steak, potatoes, and beer.

Lola: Mmm that sounds so good.

Rissa: ... except you're a vegetarian.

Lola: Yeah, and I don't like mashed potatoes.

Rissa: So basically you just want a beer.

Lola: Yeah

Cat Matt: *strange noises*

Emily R: What's wrong with her?

Kent: She's a crackhead.

Kai: She's Cat Matt.

Tanner: I got bored of studying. So I decided to masturbate.

I Feel Pretty...

Kent: We look pretty. Why are we here?

Cat Matt: I don't know.

Kent: Why aren't we out getting hit on by ugly, creepy men?

Jews!

Kent: I found these great boots at Payless, but they were like $40.

Cat Matt: That's cheap for boots.

Kent: Yeah, but I didn't have $40. Well, I had $40, but I didn't want to spend it.

Cat Matt: What's that a characteristic of?

Kent: A Jew?

Cat Matt: Yeah, that's right.

Pwned

(Talking about the REALLY TALL BOY who wanted Marissa at Immorality)

Marissa: I think eventually he got the hint...more like a smack on the head.

Kent: Could you reach his head?

Standing outside Talbot..

Lola: Oh my god, that's like hell warming over.

CatMat: Uhh..

Lola: Well, whatever. I think of this as hell. *looks out at all the snow*

Lola: We're having roomate study/be quiet time.
Crystal: Wait what? Oh, for a second I thought you said you were having roommate problems.
Lola: No...
Crystal: Phew! Because if you two are having roommate problems, there isn't hope for anyone.


(it wasn't funny... but it made our day :D)

Guest Quote

This was just too good not to put up.. from one of my friends from back home.

"and i want muthafuckin earth shattering, slam me against a tree/wall/back of a shower/what the hell ever, scream you name, want you to pull my hair and don't stop shit. and YES that might only be in movies, but just laying there, moving my hips, it hurting when it goes in, hurting with it goes deep, and thats it? i mean.. is my life really that mundane?

14:59

im a housewife before im 20!"

Take away its credit card...

Rissa: "Ooh a charging octopus, there's a new visual."
Kai: "...."
Rissa: "History Channel."

(On Twitter)

Kent: POETRY. MAKES. ME. WANT. TO. DIE.

Marissa: THEN. DON'T. BE. AN. ENGLISH. MAJOR.

Kent: I. AM. NOT. GOING. TO!

Making Sense You Are...

Rissa: "I wish there were a way I could work the word 'gay' into 'Massachusetts' without sounding stupid. You know, because of gay marriage."
Kai: "..."
Rissa: "Am I only making sense to me again?"

Abreevs are awes

(spelled phonetically for effect)
CatMatt: "When are you having the serj........err-ee?"

I am SO on my game tonight.

CatMatt: "Do we really need to know what an adjective is anyway?"
Kai: "Sometimes you need to know what adjectives are. Like when you're playing MadLibs."

-------------

Kai: "Go ask them for some cookies."
Kent: "No! I don't think they like me very much."
Kai: "Who?"
Kent: "The cookie people."
Kai: "You make them sound like little fantasy creatures that fly out of the oven."

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow...

Sniquer: "Why is it still snowing?"
Crystal: "I know! Where is it all coming from? There's piles of it everywhere, I don't understand! How is there any left?"

Mother-fuckin P-I-M-P

Tanner: My Dad is a fucking pimp

Crystal on Prince: It's like sexy time music

Superbowl announcer: He's one of those guys that will get penetration

Crystal, Kent, Kai, Marissa, Marquela, Lola, and Tanner: That's what she said!!!

Possible Rissa Fail?

(Rissa is wearing an eye patch because she scratched her own eye)

Rissa: "I just smashed into my lamp because I have no depth perception!!"
Kai: "You need to like, baby-proof your room for yourself."
Rissa: "Except every time I go to put tape on the sharp corners I'll miss."

I wake up in the Morning...

(referring to potato pancakes for brunch)

Kent: "I fucking love non-Jews! They make me Jew food for breakfast because they don't know it's not Chanukah!"