The Way to the Heart...

Kai: "Chocolate is the food of love, and the greatest comfort after human-to-human contact."
Crunch: "And mac 'n cheese."

French Homework

Shari-Marie: Why are teeth feminine? Oh right, because vaginas have teeth.

Burn!

Kai: I'll have sex with you if you write my paper.

Kent: Not worth it.

Kai: Owww.

Kent: What?

Kai: The hair on my stomach is poking through my shirt...and I didn't realize that's what it was until I pulled it out.

Kai: My computer is racist.

Kent: How?

Kai: It capitalizes "Caucasian."

Kent: Aren't you supposed to capitalize "Caucasian?"

Kai: No...well, you can, but you don't have to. My computer forces it upon me.

extremely out of context fyi

kai: wow lola, that's really good.
lola: what?
kai: your vagina.
lola: it's cute, isn't it??

Don Quixote is the new Captain Morgan

(via AIM)
Kai: "Somehow I feel you would do something like this while drunk: (268): she thought 'don quixote' was a type of tequila."
Lola: "I KNOW WHO HE IS! I wouldn't confuse Don Quixote with a type of tequila."
Lola: "But I'm flattered that you thought of me."

Keep Going, and Going, and Going...

(While watching a commercial for Energizer batteries)

Kent: You know, you should use Energizer batteries for vibrators. Then they'd keep going!

More About Boobs

Kai: "You slapped her in the tit!"
Kent: "I didn't slap it. I bumped it. Like Bump It!"
Kai: "Bump It?! You mean BOP It?!"

Boobs?

Kai: "Why are you playing with your boob?"
Kent: "I'm not playing. I'm bouncing it."

(Via AIM)

Kent: Lesbian.

Lola: I wish I was. Just like I wish I was a Jew. I wish I was a Jewish lesbian. I want to be you, Kent.

Cheer me up!

Lola: I need you to cheer me up.

Kent: How?

Lola: By being you!

Kent: Oh, I thought you were gonna ask for like, sex or something.

Riddle Me This

Lola: "What gets wetter as it dries?"
Kai: "Your mom."
Kent: "Spaghetti."
Crystal: "A towel."

"Udderly" Hilarious...

(at a petting zoo, checking out the animals)
Tanner: "WHOA! Check out the udders on THAT one!"

Penis!

(Talking about Kent's drawing of a penis on Tanner's whiteboard)

Kai: Your penises look weird.

Kent: How many penises have you seen?

Kai: More than you, apparently.

Kent: I have seen...two.

Tanner: God, I feel like a whore.

Crystal: Jacoby Ellsbury is the Chuck Norris of baseball