T'is the season of food...

Kent: "I love you a lot a lot a lot."
Kai: "I love you very very very much."
Kent: "You smell like stuffing and butter." (statement of fact)

I don't actually have a quote. But I somehow miraculously can post again and I'm excited about it!

Lola: I keep getting yarn in my knitting.
(a second later)
Hair. I meant hair in my knitting.

Lola: Your butt is falling out of your pants.
Kai: I know.
Lola: Obama says not to do that.
Kai: No, he just tells black men that.
Lola: Darnit. You knew.

*Via text message*

Kent: I brought my ivy plant home so it wouldn't die but my cat keeps trying to eat it.

Kai: That's fantastic.

Kent: My cat is fucking dumb...the boy one is anyway. To bad he's also cuter.

Kai: Guess me and your cat have something in common then...

Kent: What, you're both cute or you're both dumb?

Kai: Cute, smartass.

Cat Matt: Smokers are cooler.

Kent: You shouldn't say that, it's peer pressure.

Cat Matt: It's not peer pressure, it's a fact.

Marissa: I showered today.
Crystal: I'm gonna shower tomorrow. I've been saving it.

Cracked Out From Finals

Kent: Cat Matt, I want to die.

Cat Matt: I want to die too, but can we make up our own language?

*5 seconds later*

Cat Matt: I made a funny.

Lilias: Yeah, what did you do?

Cat Matt: Elizabeth, what did I do?

Mustache Man

Riss: Some guy with a huge mustache just walked in.

Kai: He's probably fixing something.

Riss: Yeah... but his mustache... it was epic. Like you could hide shit in it.

Kai: Like M&Ms? Birds?

Riss: Like writing utensils.

3AM Musings

Kai: Can you please fix your hair? You kind of look like a used hooker.
CatMatt: (gapes)
Kent: Anyone up at 3AM should be a used hooker.

Utensils Anonymous

Kai: (looks at Maddy eating yogurt) What is that?
Maddy: It's a fondue fork....silverware's running low.
MaryCeline: Are you ridiculous right now?!

Finals Fun

Rissa: What's up with everyone having straw spoons now? They're like the Uggs of cutlery!

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Rissa: I eat beef jerky and watch sports. I'm datable!
Kai: And you drink beer. The lesbians would love you.

Never Leave Home Without Them

(conversation ensues about bra inserts)

Kai: Speaking of Marissa's boobs...
Rissa: Yeah I left those at home on the coffee table.

What Finals Do

(discussing an incident that occurred the day prior to the conversation)

Kai: When did it happen?
Rissa: Tomorrow---I mean yesterday.

Food for Thought

(on Adium)
Rissa: How do you spell happy?
Kai: ?
Rissa: P-I-Z-Z-A

(After pizza is delivered)
Lola: Marissa, are you P-I-Z-Z-A now?

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(Tanner sits down with a mug)
Lola: Is there hot chocolate?
Tanner: No.
Kai: (looks in Tanner's mug) What is that?
Tanner: Hot chocolate.

What the Future Holds...

Rissa: I have no concept of a good income.
Kai: Income is a good income. Money coming in, that's good enough for me.

*Kai opens the window in Fussers holding a bottle of soda.*

Kent: What are you doing?

Kai: Putting this in the refrigerator.

Some 2nd floor Classics...

Poon: DISEASED VAG! AHHHHHHHHH!!! *Runs screaming out of the room.*

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"I call this the pack mule because I pack things in your ass." -Marta, buttsexing me while walking.

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Marta - "We hugged for like a solid 5-10 minutes."

Lindsey - "Didn't it get awkward? Didn't you get hungry?"

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Marta - "What did you think would happen?" (Talking about going to see Dante.)
Me + Caitlin - "Buttsex!" *High five!*

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"You look like you're having slow motion ADD." -Me to Marta at lunch

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(Talking about Marta's boyfriend visiting this weekend.)
Me: "Can I make him feel awkward?"
Marta: "How?"
Me: "I'll tell him his girlfriend frequently buttsexes me."
Marta: "Oh, I told him about that."
Me: "That's creepy..."

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Me: "You should only respect people if they're paying you."
Lindsey: "That's the first thing you learn as a Jew."

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Caitlin: "Don't put it on facebook until Wednesday! They don't know yet!"

Lola: We need to pick up the slack on our blog.
Marissa: The problem's that we're not funny anymore. We just keep quoting what's already on the blog.

What's yours?

Almas to Marissa: "What's your middle name?"
Marissa: "Elizabeth."
Almas: "Oh. How WHITE."

Marissa: I secretly crave the attention I get from Facebook and Livejournal comments.

Marquela: I think I'm getting carpal tunnel

Kent: It's from too much masturbation.

Marquela: But it's my left hand.

BOOBIES

Marquela to Marissa: You and your sister have the same cleavage.

Kai on the screaming children at the campus school: It sounds like they're playing tag with a power drill! WAAAAAH!