Nickname

Cat Matt: I'm going to change my nickname. Call me Dog Rug.

We Didn't Start the Fire

Kai: "Never play with a lighter after using hand sanitizer...you never know where the alcohol hasn't evaporated yet. Remember that."
Rissa: "Did you just light yourself on fire?"
Kai: "....no? OK fine. Yes."
Rissa: "WHAT?! are you OK?!"
Kai: "It's fine. It went out quick. It was like the time I accidentally lit my bathrobe on fire. No big deal."

My New Life Plan

Kent: I'm gonna quit school and become a hairdresser.

Cat Matt: You could make mad bills doing that.

Kent: I'll be a lesbian hairdresser.

Cat Matt: You could have your own TV show. On Bravo. They love that shit.

(watching She's All That)

Kent: "Eww! That was touching his penis!"
Rissa: "I'm sure she has, too."

(Talking about magnetic poetry)

Kai: When I bought them they were supposed to be fun, but now they just fall off the fridge and stick to my feet when I walk barefoot. 

Riss: Men suck! I hate them!

Lola: Me too! Let's become Amazons!

Riss: OK... can I keep both my boobs though?

Kent: It's weird that you tip someone to wax your vag.

Riss: Yeah, it's kind of like paying a hooker... except there's no pleasure involved.